In the digital age, social media has become an integral part of our lives, connecting us with people from all corners of the world. But what are the consequences of this constant online presence? In the latest episode of the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast, Aby Rinella engages joined me for an enlightening conversation on the impact of social media on our personal lives, particularly as homeschooling parents. This conversation, inspired by an article Aby wrote, titled The Original Influencer, provides practical encouragement for navigating the social media web with our families.
“We have to remember that the enemy of our souls is the master of deceit. He’s deceiving people into thinking that it’s a community. It’s not. It’s isolating people.”
Aby Rinella
The Disconnect Between Online and Real-Life Relationships:
Social media has birthed its own unique culture, often blurring the lines between the online and real world. Studies have shown that despite having more access to others than ever before, people are increasingly lonelier. Humans are built for community, but the online world has created a counterfeit that can trick us into believing that our need for human interaction is being met.
The Burden of Information Overload: “We see moms who are overwhelmed, and they’re depressed, and they feel hopeless, and it’s so overwhelming… And we carry that weight, and it causes depression, it causes anxiety, and we were never meant to know what’s going on all over, all the time, always.” — Aby Rinella
Recognizing the Lack of Authenticity:
Furthering the problem, the social pressure to create content that people will “like” and share has contributed to a pervasive lack of authenticity online, which can spill into our lives and personality. Worse, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that everyone else’s life is picture-perfect, when all we are seeing are their best moments and perfectly posed and photoshopped pictures.
The Power of Real-Life Relationships:
Amidst the virtual facade, real-life relationships remain the bedrock of social connection and personal growth. Aby emphasizes the messiness, effort, and humbling nature of these relationships, stressing that real-life connections require intentionality, conflict resolution skills, and the ability to find the good in others.
The Loneliness Epidemic: “The studies show that people are lonelier now than they’ve ever been ever. That there’s this epidemic, this pandemic, if you will, of loneliness that we’ve never seen before. And what’s interesting is we have more access to more people than we have ever had in history, and yet we are the loneliest.” — Aby Rinella
Finding Wisdom and Support in Community:
With the rise of social media influencers, there is a danger of relying solely on their curated content for guidance and information. Aby advocates for seeking wisdom and support from experienced individuals – Titus 2 women – within our churches, homeschool co-ops, families, and local communities, urging young moms to invest in real, tangible relationships rather than depending solely on online connections.
“It was these real women who knew me, and they knew my heart, and I knew them, and I knew their heart. And those were my influencers, and that was my community.” — Aby Rinella
Breaking Free from the Social Media Trap:
Recognizing the addictive nature of social media and its potential to distract homeschooling parents, Aby shares practical strategies to regain focus and presence in our daily lives. She recommends allocating specific time frames for social media use, fasting from it for a period, and investing in real-life experiences instead.
In a world dominated by social media, it’s essential for us to navigate its influence wisely. Aby’s insights shed light on the detrimental aspects of social media while offering a path towards authentic, real-life relationships and connections. Let us heed her wisdom and resist the trap of the online world, finding fulfillment and growth within genuine communities.
Listen to more from Aby Rinella on the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast.
Watch Aby Rinella’s sessions from the 2020 and 2023 Homegrown Generation Family Expo
You can read more from Aby Rinella on her blog, CalledtotheTop.com.
Discussion Questions:
1. How has social media influenced your perception of what a “perfect family” looks like? Do you feel pressure to portray your own family in a certain way on social media?
2. How do you think social media culture has impacted our ability to form and maintain genuine, authentic relationships? Have you experienced any negative effects on your own relationships?
3. In what ways do you see social media as a tool for isolating individuals, rather than connecting them? Have you ever felt isolated or disconnected because of social media?
4. How do you navigate the balance between staying informed about global events and protecting your mental well-being from the constant stream of news on social media?
5. Do you think social media has had a positive or negative impact on the parenting community? How have you personally been influenced or affected as a parent by social media?
6. Have you ever felt the pressure to conform to certain homeschooling methods or philosophies because of what you’ve seen on social media? How do you strike a balance between seeking inspiration and staying true to your own homeschooling style?
7. How do you personally limit your social media use during homeschooling to stay focused and present with your children? What strategies have you found helpful in reducing distractions?
8. Do you agree with Aby’s suggestion of taking breaks from social media to regain perspective and break addictive habits? Have you ever tried a social media fast? If so, what was your experience like?
9. How do you distinguish between influencers who genuinely provide valuable content and insights, and those who simply craft curated and potentially misleading versions of their lives? What are some red flags to watch out for?
10. In what ways do you think social media has impacted society’s reliance on personal experience and wisdom for guidance? Do you believe influencers should be held to a certain standard of expertise before providing tutorials or advice?
Aby Rinella is a former public school teacher turned passionate homeschool mom.
Aby resides in the mountains of the west with her college sweetheart and 3 awesome kids where they enjoy all things outdoors.
Aby is a writer and speaker seeking to encourage and inspire women to live the life they were designed to live, to train up their children in God’s Word, and to stand on truth in a culture that has lost its foundation.
Aby is co-host on The Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast, director of her local homeschool support group and is a Homeschool Idaho board member.
Aby and her husband, Jesse, speak and write on the benefits of pointing children to their Creator through spending time out in His creation. They are also passionate about encouraging men and women to prioritize the calling they have been given to raise their families the way they were designed. You can find them at CalledToTheTop.com or on Facebook at Aby Rinella-His Calling My Passion.
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Read the full transcript below:
Yvette Hampton:
Hey, everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I am back this week with Rinella and I am so excited about this topic that we’re going to talk about this week. I know it is one that is going to be so encouraging to myself and to everyone who is listening. It’s a topic that we, I won’t say all of us that the majority of us deal with. We’re going talk about social media and the effects of social media on us as moms. And I know we’ve talked a lot about this with our kids, in regards to our kids, but not so much us as moms. So we’re going to talk about that this week. But before we get into it, I want to say thank you to our sponsor, CTCmath. If you guys are looking for a great online math program, visit CTCMath.com and try them out for free. I actually just read a review from one of our local homeschool moms here in Oklahoma, and she was saying that she had tried a bunch of different math programs and nothing worked for her kids. And she finally discovered CTCMath and it was a huge game changer for her. She said it literally has changed her son. He’s excited about doing math. He dreaded it before and he is now excited about math. He wants to do his math lessons because they’re fun and I won’t say easy, depends on the kid, but they teach it for you. You can go back and rewatch any of the lessons and just go at your own child’s pace. And I think that’s the best way to home school is to go at the pace that works best for your child. So if you have not checked them out, you can try them for free. Summertime is the best time to do that, Ctcmath.com, see if it’s a good match for your family. We are here with Abby. Abby, I am so glad to have you back with me this week.
Aby Rinella:
I’m excited to be here.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, you sent me an article that you wrote, I think you wrote a couple of weeks ago, and it’s called The Original Influencer. And I read this article and I was so blown away, I was like, yes. I mean, the whole way through. And I’m going to let you talk kind of through that article, but it was so powerful because you’re talking about we talk about influencers in our world today and we’ve had some what people would consider influencers here on the Schoolhouse Rocks podcast. And basically, these are people that influence other people, right. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. We’ve had the ones who influence people for the good, who love Jesus and who are really striving to point their families and their kids to Jesus and their followers as well.
Aby Rinella:
Right.
Yvette Hampton:
But we’ve gotten kind of into this weird cycle of these little short, what do you call them reels.
Aby Rinella:
Reels.
Yvette Hampton:
These reels where you’re just flipping through and you’re on Instagram and you’re watching all these other people live these perfect lives, and you’re like, that’s not me. So let’s talk about this as homeschool moms. I think this is something that we all struggle with, whether we struggle with it on social media or in real life.
Aby Rinella:
Right.
Yvette Hampton:
It’s a struggle. First, let me just ask what prompted you to write this and then talk a little bit about the article.
Aby Rinella:
Okay, well, I think what prompted me is we talk so much about the effects of social media on kids. I think in the home school world, everybody’s pretty much on the same page. Like, your kids aren’t on it. We know that it’s damaging. We get that it’s damaging. That’s kind of something that the world knows now, right? There’s enough stuff out there that people get that. But it’s just struck me lately on how many moms are drawn to this. And we don’t talk about that. We don’t talk about the effects on moms that are drawn to it because we think, well, we’re adults. We can handle it. It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we’re going to be sucked into things like porn or scary people. Those are the things you worry about with your kids. But we’re like, oh, we’re moms that would never and so we don’t think of it that way. But then it just really hit me as I’m watching all these young moms who are, okay, when I first started homeschooling, I went to every older mom I could get my hands on. Can I look through your stuff? Tell me about homeschooling. Tell me how to be a mom. Tell me, how do you fix that meal? The women in my church are who I went to my mom, her friends. And I’m looking around now, and my little cousin calls me all the time with questions, and it blesses me. But I’m looking at her generation. I’m going, you guys are getting all your information on social media, everything that you’re learning, you’re learning from your peers, and we’re going to go into this. But I think that’s what spurred me is I’m looking at how I grew up learning things and then this new generation and where they’re getting their information and how they’re getting their information. And it’s really struck me at honestly how damaging it is. And I’m not saying that there’s not good that comes from it, because there can be. But it really hit me. And so I was, I don’t know, inspired to write that article. And you can find that at our website. It’s up on there.
Yvette Hampton:
And we’ll link to it, of course.
Aby Rinella:
Yeah, we can link to it, but it just really talks about where are we to get our influence? Who are we to be influenced by? Where are we to learn? And it dives into Titus Two, and what that really looks like. So you and I were like, let’s talk about it on the podcast. Let’s talk about the things that we need to be aware of as moms as we navigate social media, not for our kids, but for ourselves.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah. And it’s a tough thing to balance. I feel like I know for myself, if we go back to the olden days of not having any of this stuff. I just was talking with Brooklyn the other day, and I said and I’ve said this on the podcast before, but I, in so many ways hate the world that they’re growing up in because it’s so different than how we grew up. I said, but, like, Esther, we’re here for such time as this. Like, the Lord knew that we would be here at this time in history. And so I’m not going to fret about it. Like, we do what we do with what we have, right? But life was so much simpler back in the when we were growing up.
Aby Rinella:
It just 100%.
Yvette Hampton:
We didn’t have all of the we had pressure back then, I felt like, but it was more peer pressure, like, in person, or maybe our teen magazine or 17 magazine, which was totally total garbage, and I wish I hadn’t ever had a subscription to either of those. But that was what we saw. And now everything has just changed so.
Aby Rinella:
Drastically, and it’s everywhere. And I think, too, as moms well, like you said, things were simpler. We were designed to know what’s going on in our homes and then know what’s going on as far as outside of our homes, in our communities, in our churches. And historically, people really didn’t know much about what was going on. I mean, go way back when, they didn’t know much about what was going on outside of literally their neighborhood or their little small towns. And then maybe as time went on, they would know what was going on in town over or maybe as things progressed, they would know a little bit what was going on in their state. But I look now, and I think we carry the burdens, as moms, of what is going on everywhere. I am talking everywhere in the whole wide world at every given time, at any moment in time, we are carrying and because of the nature of how God made women, and we’re nurturers and we carry some of that, we are carrying the weight of the entire world all the time. And we see moms who are overwhelmed, and they’re depressed, and they feel hopeless, and it’s so overwhelming. And I remember my husband told me that at one time, he’s like, we were never meant to know what’s going on across the ocean. People didn’t know what was going. And I’m not saying turn off the net. We do need to know. It’s very important that we know what’s going on in our world so we can be active. We’re called to be, but ultimately, it’s our communities. And now it’s like nobody really knows what’s going on in their community, but they know what’s happening across the country and across the world all the time. And we carry that weight, and it causes depression, it causes anxiety, and we were never meant to know what’s going on all over, all the time, always.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah. And I think also so much of what we see is not reality. You look at the news and you see, for instance, we just had this crazy a few weeks ago, this crazy, like, a windstorm that came through our town, right? And it wasn’t a tornado, but it was like 100 miles an hour winds. And so it did some destruction, some trees fell. I don’t think that anybody lost their lives over it, but, I mean, it was destructive. But in our neighborhood, I think, like, a couple of people had trees that tipped over, and that was about it. But of course, then my mom calls, and she’s like, are you okay? Are you dead? Because putting that fear on the news, right, that it looks like all of the Tulsa area is completely destroyed.
Aby Rinella:
Totally.
Yvette Hampton:
And so much of what we see is false. It’s dramatized. It’s for the story. You see the stories. This was several years ago. I don’t know if you remember this, but there was a hurricane that came through the East Coast, and I think it was in South Carolina. There was a news story, and it was like a news reporter standing in this crazy water and then behind it and looking like the wind is blowing him away, and then behind him are two people riding bikes and walking. It was no big deal.
Aby Rinella:
And you’re just like, funny.
Yvette Hampton:
That was so fake.
Aby Rinella:
They totally dramatic for numbers. They do it for views. And that’s what we can go into as far as social media, because it’s a bit the same, right? And then what it does is it makes us go, I would watch that, and I’d go, oh, no, I need to prepare for a big wind like that, because that could happen. So everybody’s in this constant prepping phase, and then I stop, and I’m like, I will never, ever get a wind like that where I live, because I have the mountains. I should probably be thinking about, like, avalanches or when we see everything now, I’m stressing about the tide coming in, and I’m like, I don’t even live anywhere near the ocean. But it’s putting things in us that we are as moms, naturally, because we’re protectors. And then we start worrying about things that aren’t ours to worry about. They’re not even part of our sphere and our real life, but we’re watching it in other people’s lives, and it really derails what God has called us to do in the here and the now. And so I think today what we want to do is kind of just go through the list of some things to be aware of as moms as we navigate this world for ourselves, not just our kids, because it starts with us. We can’t pass on what we don’t have. We can’t help our kids navigate something that we aren’t navigating well.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s go through a list, because we like lists here at the school podcast. Okay, so lists. We love lists. Let’s just kind of walk through this craziness of influencers. I know. Abby, in your article, you talk about kind of the original influencers and what that looked like. Can we start there? Because I want to go back to absolutely what was that like before we had all this social media and stuff, right? What did that look like, even for you? But let’s go even back even further. What were influencers like back in the olden days?
Aby Rinella:
Back in the olden days? Well, think from the very beginning, and God writes about this Titus Too. He says the older women are to teach the younger. Right? And then what does it talk about teaching them? Like how to be a wife, how to run, all of that the Bible talks about nonstop. It comes through personal relationships with people in your real life. Right. That’s what the original influencer is. So need to learn how to cook. You sit at the feet, starting when you’re a little tiny girl with your mom, who taught you to cook. Need to learn how to rock a baby, change a diaper. You didn’t run to Pinterest to find out what the best diaper was. You talked to the women in your community, in your life, your mom, your grandma, your aunt, your neighbor. And those were the original influencers. And how they influenced was by being a part of your life, like actually doing life shoulder to shoulder together. And that’s how we passed things on. That’s how we learned things. It wasn’t by Peeping Tom into somebody else’s life. Right. That’s what really struck me is the article starts with the list of women in my life that just shared things, like, even down to the simple thing of, like, my sister in law teaching me how to get gross things off of a pan by sprinkling baking soda and making a paste. And I remember specifically learning that from her. And how did I do it? Well, it’s because we had cooked together in a kitchen together, and she was a step ahead of me, and so she showed me that, and it’s through relationships and doing life together. And that was how God designed the original influencer. That’s how we were influenced, is by the women in our real life.
Yvette Hampton:
Many of us still have that, right? Especially if we live close by. Mom or Grandma or an aunt or just a good friend, ladies in our church, things like that. But it really has changed.
Aby Rinella:
Yeah. And I think by default, people google something. Want to know how to do something? Find it out. Want to know how to make bread? Hop online, and you’ll get 53 different people telling you 53 different ways. People don’t naturally call their neighbor lady next door. I mean, it’s not happening. And I think we live in a generation where and the problem with that is we’re learning from someone that’s learning simultaneously. When I look at these influencers, I’m like, you just planted your first garden this year, and now you’re giving garden tutorials. And so they don’t have that wisdom. And that the years of the experience, the years of figuring it out and finding out what works and what doesn’t work. I want to go back, actually, for a minute, because you had said the word. So we talk a lot about influencers, but who are the influencers influencing? And you said it they’re influencing their followers. That’s what it’s called. Followers. And even just the terminology that this social media world has taken has really it struck me. It’s like they’re taking words that God gave because he said, what? Come and follow me. Right? A follower. And I even think it’s twisting what is a follower, right? Today? What a follower? Is it’s someone that you don’t know them. They don’t know you. Like, the people I follow on social media, they have no idea who I am. They have no clue who I could die tomorrow, and they wouldn’t even know. And I truly don’t have a clue who they are. I know what they show me, and I think it’s leaving a whole generation void of even understanding what is a follower. When Jesus said, Come and follow me, that means to be known and to know like, to know Him and to be known by Him, to trust Him, to depend on Him, and to be obedient to Him. That’s what a real follower is. And we’ve twisted this follower, and it’s really I kind of liken it. It’s a Peeping Tom. Really? We are a Peeping Tom into people’s lives. And then rather than do this Titus Two thing and learning the Bible is clear learn from who the older the older are to teach the younger. And that’s not what’s happening. We’re having this peer to peer learning, and I don’t really find that in the Word. And the other damaging thing I think it’s doing is I’m seeing this older generation who feel like they’re not needed or wanted, and I’ve noticed this older generation, they hit retirement, and then their life is about, what are we going to do next? Where do we get to travel? What hobbies do we get to take up? Because they’re not needed and wanted by the younger generation anymore. And it’s sad to me it’s really sad to me to see that disconnect, that generational disconnect. So that first one is we’re getting this misconception of what is a follower, and I think that that can affect us biblically is what does it mean to follow Christ? It doesn’t mean to just check in once in a while and see if he’s made any new reels that I need to see that day. It’s a relationship. That’s what it is. The next thing that I think that social media has done to harm us as moms or can do, is it gives us a real misconception of what community is. Even the word community, it now means a group of people that all follow the same person. So you hear an influencer say, like, you’re part of my community. And it’s funny, I reflect on all that stuff, and I’m like, this isn’t a community. Nobody in this community knows one another. Nobody has a clue who anybody else is here. And the person we’re following has no idea who we even are. And what I’m seeing is that the enemy is using social media as a tool for isolation, right? We think we have these relationships with people. We think we can go to these people for wisdom. You ask any young homeschool mom, where did you learn that? And they all follow the same people. Joe schmo at blah, blah, blah. And that’s who we go to, to learn about this, because she’s the expert in this and we’re part of her community. And these moms think that they have these relationships with these people because they spend all day watching their real I’m guilty. I’m saying this because I’m guilty. I check in with the same online person, and I feel like I know them because I spend so much time with them. But ultimately, I think it would take the click of a button. It would literally take the click of a button by whoever is in charge of the World Wide Web. And they turn it off like that. And we’re all alone. Our community is gone. The people we get wisdom is are gone. The people we follow are gone. And that’s scary to me. And scary to me that all these young moms are. So even home schooled, like, where do I learn about the latest, greatest curriculum? It isn’t the moms that went before me. And with the click of a button, it could all be shut down. And I want to challenge these moms and say, where would you stand then? Do you have your church community? Are you invested? Because, like you said, let’s go back to the olden days, right? Do we have our churches? Do we have our communities? If something went down and everything in the world shut down, where would you go? Because you can’t go to so and so at so and so on Instagram. Are you really investing in your real, true communities that are actually around you, that you could actually physically go to these people? Because that is how God designed it. That’s how he designed us to do life shoulder to shoulder.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, we’re at a time we’re going to talk more about this. I know we’re going to come back on Wednesday, talk more about this because there’s a lot to talk about with this. I’m thinking through a lot of things and making notes and yeah, there are a lot of different directions to go with this. So we’re going to come back on Wednesday. Abby, thank you for your heart. You have such a heart for people. You have such a heart for the Lord. And I am so excited.
Aby Rinella:
Women do experience relationship the way that we were meant to, real, true woman to woman relationship, the way God designed that actually fulfills us and doesn’t drain us.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah. So we’re going to talk about that and we’re going to bring some hope to people. Thank you guys for listening. It struck me that as we’re talking about this, I wouldn’t call myself an influencer in regards to I don’t have 200,000 followers on Instagram or anything like that, but we do have influence. And the Lord calls us to have influence. He calls us to do these things to impact his kingdom totally. And so influence is not always a bad thing.
Aby Rinella:
No.
Yvette Hampton:
It’s that we need to know how to balance it with reality. So we’re going to talk more about that.
Aby Rinella:
We want to influence you guys to go to the women that God has put in your life.
Yvette Hampton:
Like you said, Abby, there are good parts of it, but there are some parts of it that just put so much stinking pressure on us as people. And I hate it. I know, but we can also get a lot of encouragement from it, and.
Aby Rinella:
I think that’s the difference. Encouragers or influencers, right? We’re called to encourage. And we can encourage perfect strangers all day long, right. So we’re not bashing on social media. We’re just warning people of, you know, and honestly, before social media, we did the same thing. Women would read Women’s Day magazine and they would it would be the same thing. Or people would do this with, I don’t know, Hollywood stars or it’s in our nature. It’s in our nature to put people on pedestals or to gain information and wisdom outside of necessarily where the Lord would want us to.
Yvette Hampton:
So, yeah, you’re funny. You said people would put people in Hollywood up on pedestals.
Aby Rinella:
They still do that and we still do that. It’s everywhere.
Yvette Hampton:
It’s a horrible thing. One of the things I love about the article that you wrote is that you talked a lot about specific women in your life who had made and you named them, but who have really impacted you personally, like actual in person people who have taught you things and done things with you, including your mom and your mother in law. And I’m the same way. My mom has taught me so many things. My mother in law has taught me so many things. My adopted grandmother has taught me so many things. And then just other women that God has placed in my life. And those relationships are so vitally important to us. Let’s talk about that for just a little bit. And I know we already discussed this in episode one, but I want to dig a little bit more deeply into the importance of relationships and what that looks like for us.
Aby Rinella:
Well, I think, and we can talk about this in light of social media, but here’s the thing about real life relationships is they’re messy and they’re hard and so much of that is used for good. God talks so much about even just conflict resolution and how we deal with difficult people and looking for the good in people. And when I compare that with social media, I think when these real women are in my life and it was interesting as I wrote that article, there were these women that I’ve now done life with for years and years and I’m like, I’m sharing the amazing thing that they put in my life. But it wasn’t without other challenges, it wasn’t without other times that these women have maybe let me down. And that’s real life. And I think in real life relationships you don’t just get unfriend to someone because they said something that bothers you or unfollow. We’re meant to stick with relationships and work things out and humble ourselves. And in real life relationships, we don’t just get to pick the people that we have everything in common with. And with social media, it’s like you just unfollow someone if you get tired of them. Like I’m bored of this person, click. Or I’m going to follow this person because they appeal to everything that I need to hear today, they make me feel good today. Or the other thing is we don’t need humility in online relationships because we can just shut someone down, we can just stop engaging with them if we don’t like the way that it’s going. And with real life relationships, it’s like the nitty gritty. And God uses that to sharpen us, to refine us, to humble us, to work together as his body, to put in us mercy and grace towards other people because I can’t just unfollow them. And I think also the other thing about real life relationships is it’s back and forth. It’s give and take. There’s conversation where when we have these online, when we’re watching or following these influencers, there’s no back and forth. We’re literally just listening to them talk to us. And we either decide do we like it or we don’t. If we don’t like it, we don’t follow them. If we do, we follow them. And it’s just such a deception of what real relationships are. It doesn’t sharpen us, it doesn’t grow us, it doesn’t produce mercy and grace in us. And that’s the beauty of real women’s relationships, is like with you, yvette, I know that if there’s a disagreement or you and I don’t disagree. We don’t just click each other off and go find someone else to follow. Right. We work through things because that’s how God designed it. And that is what brings depth to relationship. It’s what roots relationship. It’s what grows us. And that’s how we have these. That’s why the list of women that I wrote, they’re all still in my life one way or another, through thick, through thin, through hard, through good, because of those things, because they’re real relationships.
Yvette Hampton:
Right. And then you learn how to be that because they’re that person to you.
Aby Rinella:
Yes. And you learn how to be that.
Yvette Hampton:
To the next generation, to the women who are younger. And it will be really interesting to see. It’s already interesting to see, really, where relationships are going with kids today. I’m watching my girls, and it’s really hard for them to connect with people.
Aby Rinella:
Absolutely.
Yvette Hampton:
One on one. So much harder than it was when I was a teenager. And then you throw COVID on top of that, and that messed it all up, those poor kids, because they were secluded. It’s just so much more difficult for them. And you talk about weird and socialized homeschoolers. Right now we just have a whole generation of weird and socialized kids. People, not so much the homeschoolers.
Aby Rinella:
It’s just people. Now it’s adults, too. Jesse okay, so this online thing, it’s a culture. It is a culture in and of its own. So you and I talk a lot about the culture of where I live. It’s very different than the culture of where you live. But this is where God has placed me. This is what I’m in, or even the American culture versus going overseas to another culture. And the online world is a culture in and of its own. And what’s interesting is people are more the studies show that people are lonelier now than they’ve ever been ever. That there’s this epidemic, this pandemic, if you will, of loneliness that we’ve never seen before. And what’s interesting is we have more access to more people than we have ever had in history, and yet we are the loneliest. And it’s interesting because Jesse at work, he said, because my husband is not on any social media, he does not understand the culture of social media. And it’s so interesting because I’ll say things to him and he gives me this look like I don’t get it, even something funny. I’ll be like, oh, my gosh, this is so funny. And I’ll show him, and he’ll look at me like, I don’t get it. And it’s just opened my eyes to it’s. Because it’s a culture that you are not. Like when we travel overseas or somewhere else, we don’t understand everything, the humor, the this, the that, because we’re not a part of that culture. And and it’s shown me, wow, I’m embedded in a culture that isn’t necessarily good for me because it’s not real. And he says, when. He on his lunch break at work. I’m like, So, you know, how is work? And he goes, you know, on lunch break, I sit completely and totally by myself in silence, because every other person is on their phone. Nobody talks to anybody. And if you’re not a part of that culture, you just sit there. Or like I shared with you the other day, my daughter went to work, and when it was slow, I’m like, So did you get to know people? And she goes, no, I just sat there. And it was so boring. And I’m like, well, why didn’t you guys all talk? And she goes, Because everybody was on their phone. And they are in a different culture, part of a community that is so not real. It’s fake. It truly is a fake, unreal community. And then they’re having a hard time entering into the real world. And I stop, and my kids, I don’t think they understand what they said, but they call kids that are on their phones all the time phonies. Like, they’re phonies because they’re always on their phone. And I thought, man, the depth they really are, because it’s this fake. And then I think I go, it’s not real. It’s deceptive. And who is the king of deception? Who is a prince of lies? And it’s the enemy. And anywhere you go at the bus stop, at the dinner table at work, you go to a restaurant and everybody’s on their phones. And it’s a culture that I’m grateful I’m not raising my kids in, but it is a part of their reality that this is the world that they’re living in.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, it’s interesting. Brooklyn often will see somebody, a couple on a date in a restaurant, and both of them will be sitting on their phones, and she’s like, if any guy ever took me out and sat on his phone the whole time we were, she’s like, I would never, ever consider going out with him again. I mean, that’s just ridiculous. It’s ridiculous because they’re not getting to know each other. How do you get to know each other when you’re text each other?
Aby Rinella:
I guess you could text each other.
Yvette Hampton:
Not the same. I love talking about these types of things because this is real life. This is the world in which we live. But there’s a difference, of course, between the influencers and those being influenced. And it’s kind of weird because I think the influencers are being influenced by people who are then going on to influence other people. And it’s like this weird snowball effect.
Aby Rinella:
Yes.
Yvette Hampton:
Let’s dissect that for a little bit.
Aby Rinella:
Okay, so I want Moms to know, first of all, what you need to know is these influencers, this is their job. This is a business. This is how they make their income. I mean, it really is. We first need to look at that. So when you watch a commercial, you watch it with your eyes wide open, knowing this is a commercial. They’re going to tell me everything great about this item. And these people are on a stage for a purpose, right? So we don’t watch these commercial. That’s just how we know because we’re the generation that watch commercials, right? We’re like, of course it’s a commercial. They’re going to say that, right? So what we need to understand is these influencers, this is their business. Everything that they put on camera, their purpose is to gain a following, ultimately. And there’s amazing ones, and they’re doing amazing well. And I mean, I bet look at you and I, we’re not bashing because we’re doing the same thing. I go around the country and I speak to people, and I’ll never see them again. And does that mean that I’m disingenuous? No. But here’s the reality. When I get up and talk to you, I’m not usually sharing all the nitty gritty hardships of my life. I’m sharing in 1 hour the things that I think that will bless you. And same with the influencers. They get a 32nd reel to tell you what’s going to capture you. So we need to look at it very clearly. And your husband’s a filmmaker. He understands the filmmaking processes. You get this much time to send a message, so you’re going to send a very pre thought out, specific message. So we just need to look at it that way. And sometimes when I watch Jesse came home from work the other day, and he’s like, you know what’s weird about this younger generation? He goes, they have cameras on them in everything they do. They can’t do anything with that. They’re all trying to be there’s this generation of everybody’s trying to be this get followers, I guess. And it’s an odd concept because I look at these influencers and I’m like, everything you’re doing is for an audience. And that’s got to be really hard and exasperating. And their whole goal is to be liked. So with an influencer, we have to remember that everything they do is for a stage. They’re filming everything they do. And my fear for them is you’re missing what’s happening in your everyday moment. It’s this strategic business plan, and it’s affecting the influenced. It’s really affecting the influenced those of us that are watching them and being influenced because what we think is real. We’re watching it, and we think it’s all real. And then we start to feel like, well, I can’t do that well. I’m not doing that well. And I read something online the other day online, and it was talked about a mom who showed up at a pool, and she had matching swimsuits with her little kid, and she had all the pool toys, and her makeup was perfect, and her hair was perfect. And she set the kid down by the pool and strategically placed all the pool toys around and then started filming. And as she was filming, this other mom was watching, and she’s like as she was filming, the little kid kept saying, mama, come in. Come play with me. And the mom was like, no, we’re filming. We’re trying to make this look. And meanwhile, the mom that’s watching, she’s like, Our swimsuits don’t match. We’ve got sunblock in our hair. It took everything we could just to get to the pool. And I forgot the snacks. And she goes, then this mom, this perfect mom with her perfect child get up, and they leave the pool. She goes, the mom never got in the pool. The kid never got in the pool. It was all this filming process. And she said, I thought if I would have clicked on her profile and I would have watched that film, I would have watched look at their amazing day at the pool. Look how beautiful they are. Look how perfect everything looks. Nobody’s crying. Everything looks amazing. And I would have felt like a complete failure. And it was so eye opening, going, what we’re watching is a 32nd Snippet that was strategically placed influencers with thousands of followers. It’s strategically placed. They have business managers to say, this is what we need to get. And so I think people are starting to figure out people don’t want to see perfect, and we’re starting to see that. And so then I clicked to another influencer, and, yvette, it’s hard for me to even say this without crying, but I watched this woman had 128,000 followers, and her reel that morning was she was filming her child have a complete meltdown. The child was hysterically, crying, calling for mama, mama, Mama, mama. Just a meltdown. Like, we’ve all had kids with meltdown, like, hello. And her whole thing on it was, See, my life is real. My kids have meltdowns, too. Look at this meltdown. Look at this. This is so stressful. Blah, blah. And the whole time I’m watching, I’m going, would you put the phone down and pick up your baby right? Would you put your phone down and hold that child? And I saw all the comments coming in, going, oh, it’s so good to see that your life is real like mine. Oh, it’s so good to see you showing how real life is. And the whole time, I’m thinking, that child is crying, calling out Mama. And you’re filming it to show the world how real you are, to gain all these followers who want to see a real mom. And it just made me break for the generation below us that has watched their parents live on stage. And what’s hit me is, I look at first Timothy 513, and it warns it says that these women weren’t it warns, these women do not go about from house to house being a busy body. And the Bible is warning that. And it makes me think that’s what we’re doing when we slide to the next influencer, we just slide, slide, slide, what is this person showing? We’re going house to house, being a busy body. We’re saying, what’s happening in their house? How are they handling their kids? What are they making for dinner? And really what’s behind us, it’s our children begging for our attention, asking us to pick them up and give them attention, right?
Yvette Hampton:
And on the other side of it, it’s not just us looking into their home, seeing how great they are. But Satan uses that 100% tell us.
Aby Rinella:
You’Re not good enough.
Yvette Hampton:
Good enough, or you’re not pretty enough. Your house isn’t nice enough.
Aby Rinella:
Totally.
Yvette Hampton:
You’re not homeschooling your kids well enough. Your kids are not well enough behaved. Your kids are not well enough dressed. You’re not making good enough meals for your kids, you’re not healthy enough. And I say this because this is all the stuff that comes into my brain.
Aby Rinella:
Absolutely, 100%.
Yvette Hampton:
I hate it. My girls laugh at me because I’m constantly deleting social media off my phone. So I’ll take off Facebook, I’ll take off Instagram, and then I’ll put it back on because I’ll need to see something. I’ll need to look up a friend or for whatever dumb reason. And then I’m like, oh, I can handle this. And then I fall back into the pit of comparison and then I have to delete it again. So right now, as of today, it’s off. It’s off. I don’t have anything on my phone. I have Realtor.com because I like looking at houses.
Aby Rinella:
That’s what I find amusing. The world has made us they’ve kind of trapped us into it. Like we were selling a bunch of stuff. And I’m like, well, I need to get on Facebook to sell that stuff. And I am on social media. I am not sitting here on a high horse telling you to get off because I am on social media. We’re just saying these are things that you need to be aware of and be careful of. And I think the pendulum is swinging that there’s all these perfect families and oh, now we feel the pressure to be perfect. But now what I’m seeing is all these people who are like, oh, that’s not selling, right? Perfect isn’t selling anymore. So now we need to make imperfect look really great. And that’s the mom that’s filming the kids screaming and crying or the mom that scans her house where her house is a total mess. And she said, I saw this the other day. Well, I guess hubby’s going to have to figure out his own dinner tonight. Kind of like now we’re just going to do real. And I’m like, maybe if you’d get off the phone, you could make dinner. I think the pendulum is swinging and the reason is because it’s a sales pitch. People are selling themselves and they’re going to sell whatever sells. And we just have to be so aware. And I think as homeschoolers. I like what you said, like, well, now I’m not making that. And my house doesn’t look like that, and we can even follow that into homeschoolers of, well, I’m not spending enough hours outside. Like, I have to spend 1000. Like, I only spent 900 hours outside this year fail where I’m like, no, you just spent 900. Well, first of all, instead of counting your hours, why don’t you play with your kids? Or instead of having to hashtag everything you do, why don’t you just be in the moment? And I fall into this trap like, we did this really cool thing. We’ve got to get it. And my kids don’t put up with it much. If I get out the camera, they get mad. They’re like, can we just not our girls, too? Yeah, can we just not or my husband, who doesn’t get it. He’s not part of that culture. He’s so funny. He’s like, Wait, why are you taking a picture of dinner? Does anybody really care what you just made for dinner? You’re really taking a picture of your food, and then you’re posting it. And he always teases. He’s like, are you going to take a picture of what it looks like coming out, too? But that’s how someone that’s not embedded in the culture sees it. They see it as so foolish because it kind of is, right? We’re putting this pressure on ourselves. And you and I have talked before that. It used to be that you could just sit and read a book with your kid, and now you have to have this beautiful feast, a beautiful table with cookies and tea, and it just puts this pressure on homeschool moms that’s like, no, they’ve never had to do that before. You can seriously just read a book and go outside.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, it’s the new reality show. Really? That’s what it is.
Aby Rinella:
That is what it is.
Yvette Hampton:
Reality TV started, what, 15 years ago, maybe 20 years ago, long ago, and it was, like, this obsession with people looking into the lives of other people. But it was all formulated and edited totally.
Aby Rinella:
It is still to say, you add your music, and I think of it as like, that’s their stage, and we’re the paparazzi, right? We’re the paparazzi trying to get any glimpse into their private, personal life, and they’re happy to share it.
Yvette Hampton:
Yes. Let’s talk about homeschool moms, because we’re talking to homeschool moms.
Aby Rinella:
Yes.
Yvette Hampton:
And the effect that this can have on homeschool moms. We are going to tie this up, like I said, with a pretty bow, and really bring you some hope with all of this. But for just a few minutes, I want to focus on how this affects us as homeschool moms specifically, because this really does play into our day to day role as teacher mom, doctor, shower, all the things, right?
Aby Rinella:
Well, I think we talked about it, the pressure of I think here’s what I would normally mind. Homeschool moms. You left the box. You pulled your kids out of the box of the public school, right, so that you could freely homeschool them uniquely to who they are, uniquely to who your family is unique to what your home is like. And then I think then we get on social media and we’re like, oh, I like her box. We’re now going to shove our entire family into that person’s box because that’s how they do it. And I find myself in that same position. I’m like, oh, I love that. And it doesn’t mean we can’t gain things, but just make sure that you aren’t leaving one box to shove your kids into another box. This social media homeschool box, I think also one thing it does, because we’re home all day, we have the opportunity to be on social media all day. And I think it really is a distraction. I find myself this is what I was finding myself doing during a math lesson. And you know, that’s like, oh my word, it’s so painful sometimes when they’re just working on that one problem. And I’m like, I’m going to be sitting here for like 10 minutes while they’re doing that one math problem. And so then what I would do is I’d grab my phone. It was so easy. It was right there. And then I would start scrolling and scrolling and looking at every else that all the pretty things out there, right? And then my kid would be like, mom, I need help with this. And I’m like, okay, yeah, hold on. And I was so fragmented and I was doing so many different things and I was so distracted that everything actually ended up taking longer because my focus wasn’t where my focus needed to be. And when I did the simple step of during school hours or during whatever hours my phone is off because it’s a temptation. Or what you did is I just took social media off my phone. And then it was unbelievable how much more present I was. And I didn’t think I wasn’t being present. I mean, I was just sitting right there with them. But for some reason, guess what? I had left my home culture and I had entered into this other dimension of reality, other culture, this vortex with all these other people that I’m now communicating with or watching. And my mind and my heart were so fragmented that I wasn’t present even though I was present. And I think as homeschool moms, that’s where we really struggle. Some practical things. One, I fasted from social media and you pick your chunk of time. And you know what I found fascinating is when I came back to it, I was so bored. I was like, this is so boring. I used to get so drawn in and I’d watch all the reels of this person and then I’d want to look up all the things they were telling me to look up. And when I fasted from it, and I came back to it. I’m like, this is so boring and Tedious and I couldn’t spend more than 30 seconds on it. But then, guess what? Then I would spend the 30 seconds, and then I found myself right back into being sucked in to this addiction on social media again. And so I think we really need to check ourselves with fasting. I think we also need to give ourselves another technique, is hop on for X amount of time a day. Pick it 20 minutes at this time of day and then go look at your red bubbles, which means the things that you need to get back to people, because people do now communicate through Facebook Messenger. Like, it’s like texting.
Yvette Hampton:
You get red bubbles.
Aby Rinella:
Yeah, the red bubbles that say you have a message. You know you have a message from this person.
Yvette Hampton:
I don’t think I get red bubbles for that.
Aby Rinella:
People don’t set my phone or notification red bubbles where they say, hey, someone.
Yvette Hampton:
Messaged you kind of phone do you have?
Aby Rinella:
I don’t know, the red bubble phone.
Yvette Hampton:
Continue on.
Aby Rinella:
It says this person or you have three messages, those things, and then turn it off. But then it takes self control. Don’t see that shiny thing, that person that’s trying to lure you into their world because they are getting paid to do it. And then shut your phone off and put it away. Because I think the biggest thing is we need to teach our kids that we are God, pleasers. That God wants us in the moment, in the present, that he wants us in the community that he’s given us and not world, pleasers. And not in this fake life that feeds us these fake things. And if our kids see us, I mean, homeschool moms are notorious of you don’t get social media. You don’t get a phone till you’re 80. But then they see us on it all the time. And we just have to remember the message that we’re sending our kids.
Yvette Hampton:
So let’s bring some happiness. Yeah, because I feel like this is heavy. I think it seems like it should be such a simple thing, but it’s really a heavy topic because it’s something that, like I said, most of us deal with. Unless you’re Jesse, Abby’s husband, who has nothing to do with social media at all. And I love that about him. I love that he just sideways like, what in the world are you even talking about, lady? I remember you told me this was a while back, that he’s like so basically, people take pictures of themselves and their family and then post them on social media so that people will like them.
Aby Rinella:
It’s so funny because when he says things, it is like all of a sudden it brings you back to reality. You’re like, right? Yes. That is what’s happening. And you know what he always says? This is what he says after he says that because he actually just poses it in a question. And then I’m like, yeah. Or he’ll be like, So you’re actually watching those people make dinner while you’re making dinner? Like just an odd. And then he always says this. He goes, It’s probably the most narcissistic thing I’ve ever heard of. And I’m like, wow, when you put it that way. He goes, people are literally filming themselves for the sole purpose of other people watching them and liking them. And when he says that and then he’s like, that’s so narcissistic. That is so self focused. That is so like and I’m like, man, it’s true. But the reason he has that view is because he has not lived in that culture. And so it’s a nice reality, but here’s the exciting thing, is it does feel heavy, Eva. It feels really heavy because we’re talking about it. But the reality is, I know that every mom that’s listening to this feels the heaviness on a day to day, because I do. Because I’ve talked to so many moms. I constantly talk to my little cousins, and she’s like, but this person said to do it this way, and this person said to do it this way, and this person said to do it this way. I see it and hear it in her voice. She just feels this burden. And so, yeah, it feels heavy to talk about it. But the thing is, our goal here is to let’s get it out. Let’s talk about it, and then let’s lift that heaviness and talk about how we can have that heaviness go away, and then we can enter in to real relationships and we can find real influencers in our life. Do you know that your community right now is full of women that have lived through things that you cannot even imagine? And the wisdom and the experience that they have that they want to share with you, it’s amazing. And you just have to tap into it.
Yvette Hampton:
We lived through a generation of not having cell phones or the Internet.
Aby Rinella:
Did you know that?
Yvette Hampton:
Did you know that the way that.
Aby Rinella:
We rolled down our windows in our cars was with a handle that we turned?
Yvette Hampton:
You would crank it.
Aby Rinella:
You would crank it. And you know what? People showed up at your door. People showed up at each other’s doors. They rocked each other’s babies. They said, you know what? It’s okay. This is normal, and you’re going to get through this. And you know what? It doesn’t have to look like everybody else. It looks the way that God and you know why they can say that? Like, I always think of my friend Betty Anne, who always gives such great advice, because she knows my family. She can give me great marriage advice. You know why? Because she knows my husband. She knows me. She knows our faults. She knows our gifts. She knows how we function. And so therefore, she can bring life and breathe life and God’s word into our situation. She knows my kids. She knows my struggles with my kids. So therefore, she can influence me in a way that is beneficial for me, for my children, for my husband. Because it’s real.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, absolutely it is. I’m thinking of a friend of mine. I don’t know her very well, but she had a baby that she was nursing, and her sister had a brand new newborn baby, and her sister got really sick and ended up in the hospital, like, days after the baby was born. And so she brought her sister’s baby home and nursed her sister’s baby along with her baby. And I’m like, that’s real life.
Aby Rinella:
That’s real life.
Yvette Hampton:
That’s the kind of relationships we need.
Aby Rinella:
To have with people where you’ll literally.
Yvette Hampton:
Nurse someone else’s baby. I mean, that’s big. And even if it’s not nursing, how does that look in the homeschool community? If a mama gets sick or has to get on a plane and fly to a different state to go to tend to a sick family member or something? I mean, there are so many. I feel like all of us at some point have circumstances that cause us to not be able to tend to our kids the way that we need to. And that’s where we, as a home school community, step in and say, you know what? We’re here. We’re real life in the flesh community. And whether it’s your church or your homeschool community or your neighbors or whoever it is that God has placed in your life, that’s what we need to be doing.
Aby Rinella:
Back and forth.
Yvette Hampton:
Totally.
Aby Rinella:
I breathe into your life, you breathe into my life. I hold you up in prayer. You hold me up in prayer. It’s relationship. And here’s the thing. We’re not making this up. God’s word tells us in Titus Two that it is the older that teach, the younger, and they teach by coming alongside. And where do we find this? So, so many of you are like, I’m in the four walls of my house. I think also, here’s something. Social media is extra tempting to homeschool moms because we spend a lot of time alone in our homes with our kids. And so it’s an opportunity to be like another grown up, like someone that’s actually not needing me to wipe their rear end. They actually are just another adult. And so it can be really tempting for us, but we have to remember, that person doesn’t know you. They won’t know tomorrow if you’re dead or alive. It’s a way that the enemy is keeping you isolated. And so real live relationships, they take a little bit more effort. They take seeking people out, welcoming people into your home. They take having grace and mercy. When people mess up, they take the fruits of the spirit. Honestly, it doesn’t take much fruit of the spirit to watch someone all day on a screen, and they take the Lord to be the center of that relationship. So go to a Bible study. It might be hard, but you know what? I remember when I was young oh, my word. Here’s a quick story, if we have one. I was in a room with a Bible study, at a Bible study, and I had just had my middle child, like, within weeks. And he was in the little car seat. You know how when they fuss and you put that bar through your arm and you kind of swing them in their car seat? Is everybody picking up on that? So you’re kind of rocking them in the car seat, right? Well, I had forgotten that I had unbuckled him because we had gotten a Bible study. So I gave him a good swing because he loved to be swung in that thing, and he launched out of that thing. We were sitting in a circle, right? And he launched into the middle of the circle. I had all the hormones because I just had a baby, and I was mortified. I started crying. It was like the worst moment. And all these women and my my pastor’s wife immediately scooped him up and took me, you know, out of the circle while I cried. And immediately I heard all of those women, every woman in that circle started sharing. I remember when my kid fell out of their high chair at a restaurant, and they all started sharing these most beautiful real life mom moments. And it wasn’t one woman telling me how to this is real. It was this group of women, and they wiped my tears, and they didn’t embrace my shortcoming, but they shared, like, baby’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. We’ve all been there. And it was real. It was these real women who then they knew me, and they knew my heart, and I knew them, and I knew their heart. And those were my influencers, and that was my community. And when the whole world falls apart and the Internet shuts down and who knows what’s going to happen, they’re going to be there. And they to this day know that little boy that I launched into the middle of the circle. And they’re influencing his life to this day because they’re a part of my life.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah. So this is the challenge. This will be the real influencer challenge.
Aby Rinella:
Okay, here we go. The original influencer challenge.
Yvette Hampton:
Real influence. Because this is what a lot of influencers do, right? They have challenges.
Aby Rinella:
Challenges.
Yvette Hampton:
They have challenges. I don’t think we’ve ever done a challenge on the podcast.
Aby Rinella:
Right? All right, let’s do it. What’s the challenge?
Yvette Hampton:
But the challenge is to find and be real influencers.
Aby Rinella:
Yes.
Yvette Hampton:
We have to be intentional about it. And it’s hard. It is really hard, especially if you are an introvert or if you’re in a new area where you don’t know a lot of people. Some people. Before we left California, it was so easy because I had grown up in the town that we lived in, and we were so established in our church and in our home school community, and we had people. I didn’t have to go looking for them. They just were there, and life was great. And then we left, and all of a sudden, I didn’t have anybody close by. I didn’t have people to call up and say, hey, let’s go get a cup of coffee or let’s go for a walk or meet up at the park. I didn’t have those people. And I still I mean, two and a half years later, since we moved to Oklahoma, I’m still establishing those relationships with people, and it’s really, really hard.
Aby Rinella:
Well, and I think it’s harder now than it’s ever been because everybody already has their online friends, their online communities, so they don’t need the new girl next door because they’ve got that.
Yvette Hampton:
But I think if people are really honest with themselves, they’ll realize that it’s not real.
Aby Rinella:
It’s not real.
Yvette Hampton:
I want to pause here for a second and say, too. And we addressed this, I think, in the first episode, maybe the second one. It’s not always bad to follow these influencers because a lot of them, truly God, has given them a platform to be able to encourage people correct 100%. So take the encouragement, but without comparing yourself to them. Take the good of what they’re sharing, but don’t look at them and put them up on a pedestal and think, I’m not as good as them. My family is not as good as theirs. I’m not as pretty, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Aby Rinella:
When you read a book, you take out points to put in your life. So think of it that way. You’re only seeing a snippet of their life. Take those snippets and leave the rest and realize the rest. I mean, this is a sales pitch. This is a commercial. And sometimes commercials are good. Like, I needed to see that commercial because I bought that car, and it’s a great car, but just remember, it’s not all real, right?
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah. So the challenge is to be an influencer and find influencers further and give.
Aby Rinella:
You some practical tips.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, do it.
Aby Rinella:
When you’re out and about and people are all on their phone, strike up a conversation. Strike up a conversation. Maybe take a batch of cookies to your neighbor lady that you’ve never actually talked to and find out about her history and her past and make the intentional efforts. Also, pick up the phone and call your girlfriend rather than social media. Message her or like, her picture or send her a text. Pick up the phone and call her and say, how are you doing?
Yvette Hampton:
Isn’t it kind of shocking sometimes when people call and you’re like, whoa, do.
Aby Rinella:
You know that people can’t handle phone calls anymore? And you know what? I keep reading. It’s an annoyance. Like, why would you call me? Why don’t you just text me?
Yvette Hampton:
Right?
Aby Rinella:
And you know what the thing about making a phone call is? The conversation will lead to the most beautiful places and it’ll go where the Lord wants it to go. And pretty soon you’ll be talking about things you had no idea you needed to talk about. And so pick up the phone, go for a walk, go to Bible study, put the phone down, and cultivate real life relationships. Be an influencer, and then be real life influencer, a real life influencer. And then be influenced by those that you can touch and hug and do life with.
Yvette Hampton:
Yeah, I think that’s the greatest thing. So that’s the challenge. Yay.
Aby Rinella:
And then send us, like, let us know how’s it going. Yeah, we want to know. Or practical tips that we can all share with each other.
Yvette Hampton:
Yes. I would love that. Aby, thank you so much for your encouragement this week. Thank you for sharing what the Lord has put on your heart in regards to this. And we’ll link Abby’s article in this. And what I would love for you guys to do is read the article and then you’re going to see in the beginning, like I said, she lists out specific women in her life that God has used to influence her. I would love for you to read that and then start thinking, like, who has God used in your life to influence you? Real people. Who has God used and then who can you go out and influence? That’s the.
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